How to Deal With Someone Who Interferes Too Much
People who interfere in your life may mean well yet come across as critical. Others use whining, bullying, anger, judgment or general anti-social behavior to try to get their way, according to Psychology Today. Remain calm amidst these circumstances to assess the motives and appropriately address the behavior.
Assess the Relationship
Examine the type of relationship you share with the person you're struggling with, including any formal or informal roles that may be confusing things. Older family members, a workplace supervisor or people who have more experience than you do in a given area may feel a greater freedom to share their opinion than what you feel comfortable receiving. Look for any differences in perceived versus actual authority to clarify expectations and discover shared values that can inform the reconciliation process.
Identify Patterns
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Recognize anything you're doing to empower the interfering person, such as maintaining a surface-level relationship or failing to share your feelings about this topic. Look for patterns in when they most assert themselves, such as whether it's when others are around vs. when you're alone together. Minimize the time you spend with them in those circumstances and strategically keep interaction as healthy as possible.
Confront Personally
Find an appropriate environment to have a face-to-face conversation with an interfering person. Use statements that clarify your feelings, such as, "When you do this, it make me feel this way." Declare whatever behavior feels unacceptable to you and why, specifying exactly how you expect to be treated. Avoid sarcasm or other passive-aggressive ways of sharing your point. Keep communication rational and fact-based to avoid having your words twisted.
Follow Up
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Monitor any progress in the relationship and affirm your desire for things to become healthier. Follow up with the person regarding any gaps you're still seeing, or take along another person to serve as a witness and guide. Recognize your limits in getting things to be exactly how you want them, but keep working at it.
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Writer Bio
Tony Myles is a pastor and national speaker on youth culture. He has been writing professionally since 2000, has a weekly health and fitness newspaper column in the Cleveland suburbs, reviews for "YouthWorker Journal" and was a featured reporter for the "Kalamazoo Gazette." He holds a Master of Business Administration in adolescent development from Indiana Wesleyan University.