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How to Cope With Not Being Able to Get Pregnant

Learning that you are not able to get pregnant is devastating. Since most people grow up with the expectation that they will be able to successfully conceive a child when they choose to do so, finding out that this is not possible can be both unexpected and gut-wrenching. However, although the process is not easy, learning how to cope with not being able to get pregnant is possible.

Accept your feelings. You are going through a difficult time and are entitled to your feelings, whatever they may be. Feeling sad, angry, overwhelmed or anxious is not wrong and is part of the healing process. Trying to suppress your feelings may only make you more miserable and make the situation even worse.

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Consider all of your options. Medical advances in the field of infertility continue to be made every day. Decide what types of medical treatment, if any, you may be willing to undergo. If getting pregnant is not possible for you, consider whether other options such as volunteering, fostering a child or adoption may fulfill a part of your desire for a child.

Nurture your relationship with your partner or spouse. Men and women often have a different reaction to infertility and dealing with being unable to conceive can put a strain on even the strongest of relationships. Accept your partner's feelings, even if those feelings are different from yours, and make time to have fun and enjoy each other despite the infertility struggle.

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Educate yourself. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions and to do your own research about the condition causing your infertility. When it comes to your health, arming yourself with knowledge may help you feel more in control.

Educate your family and friends. Most people do have the best of intentions, but may say or do ignorant things that make the situation worse. Share pamphlets, books, articles or other resources that may help them to better understand what you are going through. Give them specific things that they can do (or refrain from doing) that may help you cope.

Know your limits. Maybe you can go to your nephew's birthday party without breaking down, but find baby showers painful. Always consider if the emotional price you will pay to go to the event will be worth it, and give yourself permission to say no to events or activities that may be too difficult.

Find positive experiences. Make a concerted effort to experience fun and happiness despite your struggle. Start a gratitude journal for everything else that is going right in your life, plan the vacation you always wanted or start a new hobby. Bringing new positive things into your life may help you better cope with the negative 1.

Get additional support. Even though friends and family can help, dealing with infertility can be an incredibly lonely experience if your loved ones have never experienced infertility themselves. Talking to a mental health professional or joining an infertility support group can go a long way in helping you to feel less alone. If you are unwilling or unable to meet physically, consider joining an online support group instead.


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Prepare yourself to deal with ignorant comments. Although it may be possible to educate your family and friends, hurtful comments from strangers may be unavoidable. Understand that the comments are usually not intended to be malicious and try not to take them personally.