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How to Build Confidence & Self Esteem

By Harold E. Sconiers ; Updated June 13, 2017

Self-esteem and confidence are two levels of conception closely tied to an individual's sense of well-being. The words self-esteem refer to a person's perception of her own worth or value. All people have strengths as well as shortcomings. Those with high self-esteem expand their strong points can accept weaknesses without guilt or remorse and work diligently toward improvement. Confidence is the belief in ones own capacity to meet challenges in a certain area of life. Confidence proceeds achievement, which, in turn, further fosters self-worth.

Building Self-Esteem

  1. The person who desires to achieve high levels of confidence and self esteem must begin by accepting full responsibility for every result produced in his life. Self- responsibility is paramount to self-esteem in that it puts one in charge of his own destiny. By assuming the directing role of your existence, you become capable of placing yourself on the path to personal achievement

  2. In order to truly feel worthy, it's important to accept every aspect of yourself. A mark of confidence is the ability to accurately asses one strengths and weaknesses without judgment and use the insights collected to constructing a strategy for personal success.

  3. Provide yourself with kind words. Stating and re-iterating the belief that your are capable when facing a challenge allows you the space to learn how life works. When speaking of yourself, make it a point to affirm your intrinsic value and worth as a human being. Positive self-talk goes a long way in building genuine feelings of self-appreciation.

  4. Find a group of supporters. Self-esteem is grounded on feeling lovable. Perceiving ones self a being lovable heavily weighs on a sense of belonging. Surround yourself with people which whom you can share your dreams and goals freely without fear of destructive criticism.

  5. Get lots of small things done. Make a to-do list, compiled with all the little issues you would like to see resolved around the house or office. Repairing a broken shelf, re-hanging a picture or things of that sort will do just fine. After accumulating a good number of minor chores, begin accomplishing these tasks, one by one. Even completing small chores will begin to instill within your mind that you are a person who completes things. This will bring into existence a sense of confidence that will prepare you to tackle something larger.

  6. Tip

    Developing self-esteem is not about resisting negativity but choosing your own direction. At some time each night, recount the things that you did correctly that day. Avoid toxic people. It is said that the three closest people to an individual have the greatest level of influence over that person's life.


    Confidence is not arrogance. Aggressive behavior is nothing more than one's miscalculated effort to give the appearance of confidence. Real self-esteem engenders an appreciation for the rights of others to follow their own personal path without interference. One who seek his own satisfaction at the detriment to those around him is merely self-absorbed.

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