Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have been going country strong for more than 12 years, and according to the “Big Little Lies” actress, the couple makes a point of never sending each other text messages.
You heard that right. Kidman and Urban have never (as in, ever) communicated via text during their more than decadelong relationship. How do the two communicate when they are apart? The good old-fashioned way — via telephone. “Yep. We call,” Kidman told Parade. “And that’s 12 years of marriage. We [just had] our 12-year wedding anniversary (on June 25), and we’ve never texted. That is so not our relationship, which is interesting, right?”
Kidman explains that their no-texting policy started by accident and that they just went with it. “We’ve done this since the very beginning. The reason it started at the beginning was because I didn’t know how to text [laughs], and it just kind of worked for us,” she explained. “So now we don’t. We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say.”
The Academy Award-winning actress explains that they regularly call each other and use FaceTime, but they avoid texting because it can be “misrepresentative” and confusing. “And I’ve had the thing where I reread texts, and I’m like, ‘What does that mean?’ and then read it to somebody and go, ‘Can you interpret that?’ I don’t want that between my lover and I.” We have totally been there, girl!
When it comes to her friends and colleagues, her texting policy is a little more lenient, but she makes sure to set boundaries so people don’t have any unrealistic expectations of her. “I try to not be really prompt with returning texts because then you get used to that kind of person,” she explained. Basically, she gives herself a break because she doesn’t have to be available to everyone all of the time. Novel idea, right? “I’m really responsible as a person, so I have to just go, ‘No. It’s OK not to be completely available all of the time.’ And that’s a really big lesson for someone who wants to be responsible.”
Kidman may be on to something by setting texting limitations. According to a 2013 study, heavy texting has been linked to relationship dissatisfaction among both men and women. Researchers found that couples who used text messages as a way to make decisions, apologize or settle agreements had lower relationship quality than those who simply talk.
As for her secret to looking flawless at 51, Kidman, who recently spoke out about age discrimination in Hollywood, maintains it is a combination of meditation, running and healthy eating. “The older you get, you have to take better care of yourself and eat better,” she explained. “Before, I used to be able to have a bad week, and now it’s like I can have a couple of bad days, and then I have to get back on track.”
While it may not be necessary to cut texting out of your relationship completely (because, let’s face it, sometimes it’s just much more convenient to text about menial things like groceries, dinner dates and other logistics), Kidman’s relationship advice is a great reminder on the importance of real communication.