The Secret to Great Sex? Learn From Women Who Sleep with Other Women
Attention, men: Have any lady friends who are getting it on with other ladies? You might want to start asking them for advice when it comes to pleasuring women in bed. According to new research, women who have sex with other women are significantly more likely to achieve an orgasm than women doing it with men.
The University of Arkansas study, published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, found that women having sex with other women are 32 percent more likely to have an orgasm than those with opposite-sex partners.
Even more interesting: Women having sex with men reported having around 16 sex sessions a month, and women having sex with women only had around 10. That just goes to show that more sex doesn’t necessarily mean better sex. Some women in same-sex relationships even reported having up to a whopping 55 orgasms a month! Whoa!
While this may seem like depressing news for all the heterosexual people in the world, it isn’t. Regardless of who you choose to share sexy time with, there is a lesson to be learned from this exciting new research: Stop having boring sex. “Sex that includes more varied sexual behavior results in women experiencing more orgasms,” Dr. Kristen Jozkowski, from the University of Arkansas, explained to The Sun.
Nope, sex between a man and a woman doesn’t have to revolve around the usual penis-in-vagina penetration. “Men get overexcited and go for penetration far too soon,” “101 Sex Tips” author and sexpert Rebecca Dakin told The Sun. “A woman needs at least 45 minutes of foreplay before intercourse.”
“Dr. Ruth” Westheimer, Ed.D., a psychosexual therapist and professor at New York University, agrees. “It’s particularly important for women to have successful foreplay because it takes a woman a longer time [than a man] to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm,” she told WebMD. Even more, it can serve both a physical and emotional purpose, preparing both the body and mind (hugging, kissing and caressing can all help lubricate the vagina) for sex, she explains.
Specifically, foreplay can directly impact the clitoris, which needs to be lubricated and excited for maximum satisfaction, Westheimer points out. Basically, it has the same characteristics as the penis. “Blood flows into the clitoris, and in order for a woman to have an orgasm there must be lubrication in the vagina, but also the clitoris must get erect.” Yep, the clitoris must get erect.
Let this be a lesson for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender: If you want to achieve orgasmic bliss, you just gotta try a little harder.
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Leah Groth is a writer and editor currently based in Philadelphia. She has covered topics such as entertainment, parenting, health & wellness for xoJane, Babble, Radar, Fit Pregnancy, Mommy Nearest, Living Healthy and PopDust.