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How Divorce Affects Teens Psychologically & Emotionally
Recent estimates of divorce rates in the United States indicated that about half of first marriages end in divorce, according to a 2012 National Health Statistics Report. The research on divorce and its effects on children is plentiful, and psychologists know that divorce can have a major impact on the psychology and emotions of a teen in ways parents might not know 3.
Loss of Emotional Regulation
Children witnessing their parents’ divorce often lose some control over how they control or regulate their emotions. As parents tend to be the emotional role models of children, when a parent is constantly using criticism, for example, she implicitly teaches her teen such techniques are suitable ways to deal with emotional problems. When the marriage was happier, children might have learned that criticism is the result of a loss of emotional control. During the divorce, that lesson suddenly changes, making it seem that lashing out is acceptable if a person is upset.
- Children witnessing their parents’ divorce often lose some control over how they control or regulate their emotions.
- As parents tend to be the emotional role models of children, when a parent is constantly using criticism, for example, she implicitly teaches her teen such techniques are suitable ways to deal with emotional problems.
Distress
The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children
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Feeling distress when put into a negative, hostile environment is simply human nature. Teens who witness their households falling apart naturally feel distraught. According to John Gottman, relationship psychologist and author of “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,” many psychological studies have shown that children experience increases in heart rate and blood pressure when exposed to adults fighting 13. Such physiological changes, over time, can lead to negative psychological results. In short, the stress of witnessing parents fighting can carry over into the mental realm, stunting the ability to focus or cope with problems.
- Feeling distress when put into a negative, hostile environment is simply human nature.
- Such physiological changes, over time, can lead to negative psychological results.
Rebellious Acts
A child who witnesses a painful divorce is more likely to engage in antisocial behavior, even in adulthood. These children are more likely than teens from stable families to drop out of school, commit crimes, or engage in sex at a young age. In many cases, these rebellious actions are cries for help; teens of divorced parents rarely get the amount of adult attention they were getting prior to the divorce. With one parent leaving, at least one parent-child relationship will suffer, and children might seek out other ways of getting the attention they need, sometimes going to extreme measures 3.
- A child who witnesses a painful divorce is more likely to engage in antisocial behavior, even in adulthood.
- With one parent leaving, at least one parent-child relationship will suffer, and children might seek out other ways of getting the attention they need, sometimes going to extreme measures 3.
Poor Academic Performance
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Many parents might be surprised to learn how academic performance can suffer at the hands of emotional distress. However, as divorce culture scholar Barbara Whitehead mentions in her article in The Atlantic, “Dan Quayle Was Right,” children’s grades are falling not because of a decline in intelligence but because of a decline in emotional stability 4. Whitehead states that today’s teachers find it hard to teach kids when so many children are more focused on their family’s personal issues than mathematics. The problems of a family lead to emotional problems in teens, which carry over to academic life.
- Many parents might be surprised to learn how academic performance can suffer at the hands of emotional distress.
- However, as divorce culture scholar Barbara Whitehead mentions in her article in The Atlantic, “Dan Quayle Was Right,” children’s grades are falling not because of a decline in intelligence but because of a decline in emotional stability 4.
Related Articles
References
- Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child; John Gottman
- McKenzie Pediatrics: Divorce
- Child Study Center: Divorce and Children
- Dan Quayle Was Right; Barbara Whitehead
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
- Hawkins AJ, Allen SE. How many married people have thought about divorce?. Institute for Family Studies. Published November 2, 2015.
- Brigham Young University Family Studies Center. In advance of highest divorce rate month, Brigham Young University study shows thinking about divorce is common, not cause for alarm. PR Newswire. Published December 16, 2015.
- Kardan-Souraki M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Asadpour I, Mohammadpour RA, Khani S. A review of marital intimacy-enhancing interventions among married individuals. Glob J Health Sci. 2016;8(8):53109. doi:10.5539/gjhs.v8n8p74
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Writer Bio
Having obtained a Master of Science in psychology in East Asia, Damon Verial has been applying his knowledge to related topics since 2010. Having written professionally since 2001, he has been featured in financial publications such as SafeHaven and the McMillian Portfolio. He also runs a financial newsletter at Stock Barometer.